Born to Spin

As a human directional, I hold a sign, sometimes spin the sign, and point towards something like condos “from the 120s” or with an “active adult community.” In order to get people’s attention as they drive by, I dance around on my corner while holding the sign. I don’t have an mp3 player, but I do have a little radio with head phones that I use.

It’s kind of a dream job for me, because basically I get to do what I did in my room for many years growing up. I used to watch the show Kids Incorporated and would make tapes of the songs (rock and pop songs covered by an all kids band). In my room I would sing and dance along to the music like I was one of the kids on the show. Now I do the same thing, just while holding a sign instead of a tambourine.

On Kids Inc. the “band” members who played the instruments were really just dancers who knew little about their instruments. They would dance onstage while holding a neon pink guitar or fluorescent yellow keytar…about the size of the signs that I hold. Now I finally got the chance to put my study of the art of dancing with an instrument to good use!

Sometimes I even make like the sign is a guitar, and I “play” it. What I quickly realized is that I am clueless when it comes to playing guitar (air guitar at that!). I have no idea what my hands are supposed to be doing, and there’s no way I can coordinate them doing two different things at once! I mean, I understand my right hand should be moving around—closer to me for higher notes, right?—and my left should make strumming moves in beat to the music (right?). That’s hard!! I’m sure I look like a fool, but I pretend I’m Michael J. Fox in the ‘50s in Back To The Future. I like to do the move where you stick your leg out and hop while holding the guitar. I guess it’s called the “Duck Walk.”

I also draw upon my previous research conducted at the MTV laboratories. In the ‘80s I monitored the guitar choreography of hair bands such as Poison, Warrant, and Bon Jovi, as well as more classic hard rock groups like AC/DC and Van Halen. There are a lot of rockin' guitar moves perfect for really getting into the music.

Aside from Marty McFly and Kids Inc, my other sign twirling inspiration is my dad! Back in the ‘80s, he used to strap on his roller skates and a sign advertising the family business. He would skate through Harvard Square, in between cars, all over the place, to drum up some business. I think it was a fairly novel idea back then. I guess nowadays the human directional business is booming because the advertising industry is changing so much. Companies can’t rely on ads on TV or radio or in the newspaper, because people can get their news online, fast forward commercials with TiVo, and listen to satellite radio. But they still gotta drive. And while they’re sitting at a red light, if they’re not too absorbed in the movie they’re watching in their dashboard or the text message they’re composing, I hope to catch their eye and give them some entertainment along with a suggestion for some fabulous condos!

I must have inherited some of my dad’s willingness to make a fool of himself in public. Any time he’s wearing his clogs, if there’s a live band, a large crowd, and an empty dance floor, he is there! I have been embarrassed by his behavior in the past, but when the clog is on the other foot and I’m on the corner with a sign…I’m just glad I don’t have any kids!

When it comes to letting loose, my biggest influence is Ellen Degeneres. Every day on her show she spends a couple minutes dancing with the audience. Her show is very popular, and her 50-year-old white woman moves have been a staple element since the show’s start 5 years ago. As my boyfriend puts it “she dances like my mother” and somehow it is very entertaining. I try to use that same fun, G-rated, everyman vibe. My own mother wasn’t much of a dancer but she was a cheerleader in the ‘50s. She taught me some cheers growing up, and passed on her rah-rah spirit. No one’s yelling “Go Team!” but sometimes I’ll wave to cars and try to get them to honk!

I see a lot of sign spinners who do a lot of fancy moves, in fact I know some companies use a pay scale that is based on how many “moves” you can perform. I’ve always thought it kind of silly to spin a sign around when you’re trying to direct people a certain way. The sign’s direction becomes unclear and the words unreadable. The “point” is lost. The company I work for now has a similar philosophy, so spins are kept to a minimum. I get attention by dancing and using simple sign movements.